....or there will be anyway, tomorrow morning just after 8am.
What a surreal feeling. I've been way into this scheduled c-section thing, especially being so very grateful that regardless of how many aches and pains I had, at least I knew I wouldn't be pregnant past this Thursday. There's some serious psychological goodness that comes along with that kind of assurance. Especially after waiting and waiting and waiting for nearly three extra weeks last time. I've even done a pretty good job of not getting too emotional over leaving Christopher.
Today was the perfect day. We got up early and headed over for daily Mass. Living right across the street from our parish church, one would think this is something I could do quite often. Okay, okay. I really could do it quite often, but I don't. I'll make my excuses another time. Anyway. I wanted to go today to be with my family, to pray, to receive the Eucharist. That is strength that I will need over the next several days. Christopher, my little angel, lived up to his title. We sit in the back pew so that I can stand next to me in the aisle and play quietly, and he did just that. Again today he demonstrated this connection that he has with the spiritual - one that amazes me with each manifestation. Today was not the first time that he walked up and down the aisle (the last few empty pews, anyway) holding his little cup in one hand and his drum stick in the other, dipping the drum stick in the cup and then waving it up and down - just like Father has been doing with the Holy Water throughout the entire season of Easter. It is amazing to me the things this kid picks up. OH - and lest I forget, today he bowed toward the tabernacle before he entered the pew. Makes me wonder if the seminaries will lower their age requirements.
All day long he was just so sweet and loving. He'd give me hugs without solicitation... He continued his love for my belly with snuggles and kisses... He oh-so-kindly repeatedly lifted up my shirt to show the entire family my monstrous stomach....
And I cried through every single minute of it.
Because I'm exhausted. Because I'm emotional.
Because I'm excited. Because I'm anxious.
Because I'm leaving my boy for the first time.
Because I'm meeting my boy for the first time.
Because I am for more blessed than I have ever had any right to expect.
Far more blessed than I ever realized I'd even desired.